Saturday, March 27, 2004
Re: VUOTPE, waterless bald mountain
Spam from the Mars Lander?
Spam from the Mars Lander?
Friday, March 26, 2004
Tupperware’s Gone Mad
I've often thought that Tupperware was looking at me kind of funny, and now here's the proof of its fully-fledged insanity. That incessant burping was always a sign.
I've often thought that Tupperware was looking at me kind of funny, and now here's the proof of its fully-fledged insanity. That incessant burping was always a sign.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Get 500 miles. Get a personal assistant
I'm all for getting a personal assistant. That would help me get a lot more done in my life. But 500 miles? Can I have any 500 miles in the world? A bit of the Great Wall of China? Route 66? Wow - the tolls I could collect from owning the New Jersey Turnpike...
Or does it mean I get a copy of that great Proclaimers song?
I'm all for getting a personal assistant. That would help me get a lot more done in my life. But 500 miles? Can I have any 500 miles in the world? A bit of the Great Wall of China? Route 66? Wow - the tolls I could collect from owning the New Jersey Turnpike...
Or does it mean I get a copy of that great Proclaimers song?
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
y still waste stupid money on via-gra? gyroscope havoc
Well, I'm convinced. Why on Earth would any man waste money on his pathetic erectile dysfunction problem when he can respond to this spam and wreak gyroscope havoc? Wielding a mighty gyroscope is a sure sign of great potency and manliness.
Well, I'm convinced. Why on Earth would any man waste money on his pathetic erectile dysfunction problem when he can respond to this spam and wreak gyroscope havoc? Wielding a mighty gyroscope is a sure sign of great potency and manliness.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Re: NK, the tramcar went
Obviously an email promoting failed alternate versions of well-known musicals, this one being The Trolley Song by Judy Garland from Meet Me in St. Louis, whose lyrics are:
Clang, clang, clang went the trolley
Ding, ding, ding went the bell
Zing, zing, zing went my heartstrings as we started for Huntington Dell.
I assume the equivalent lyrics in the spam version would be:
NK, the tramcar went
TC, was the microwave ting
HGGGG, my arteries gasped as I swallowed the popcorn with real butter topping.
Obviously an email promoting failed alternate versions of well-known musicals, this one being The Trolley Song by Judy Garland from Meet Me in St. Louis, whose lyrics are:
Clang, clang, clang went the trolley
Ding, ding, ding went the bell
Zing, zing, zing went my heartstrings as we started for Huntington Dell.
I assume the equivalent lyrics in the spam version would be:
NK, the tramcar went
TC, was the microwave ting
HGGGG, my arteries gasped as I swallowed the popcorn with real butter topping.
Monday, March 22, 2004
What to Ask Your Loan-officer poultice
I'm sure that would surprise him or her no end. "Hi, Mr. Officer - you probably think I'm here to ask for a loan, but you'd be wrong. You see, I think I might have a gangrening infection of my left foot and would really like to ask you to loan me a poultice. What are your payback terms and interest rates?" Spam yet again goes beyond lateral thinking to thinking from a dimension outside our normal experience. Maybe spam is some kind of communication from multi-dimensional beings? Beings who have access to cheap, generic medication, get-rich-quick schemes and porn.
I'm sure that would surprise him or her no end. "Hi, Mr. Officer - you probably think I'm here to ask for a loan, but you'd be wrong. You see, I think I might have a gangrening infection of my left foot and would really like to ask you to loan me a poultice. What are your payback terms and interest rates?" Spam yet again goes beyond lateral thinking to thinking from a dimension outside our normal experience. Maybe spam is some kind of communication from multi-dimensional beings? Beings who have access to cheap, generic medication, get-rich-quick schemes and porn.
Sunday, March 21, 2004
coffee richfield dwindle
I always thought coffee was made from beans that grew on big plants, but if you can drill for it in underground fields, like oil, and if those fields are dwindling, then it's time to stock up on the Maxwell House before the shortages start, leading to domestic strife and ultimately a couple of US-led wars with Java.
I always thought coffee was made from beans that grew on big plants, but if you can drill for it in underground fields, like oil, and if those fields are dwindling, then it's time to stock up on the Maxwell House before the shortages start, leading to domestic strife and ultimately a couple of US-led wars with Java.
