Good Things From Spam

infantryman antipasto

I think this spam might explain the Italian army's stunning failure in several wars: too busy worrying about what kind of antipasto they were feeding the infantrymen. The cavalry deserve only the best antipasto, but infantrymen should just make do with minestrone and bread sticks.

Your employer said they can't hire you because you don't have a degree

First of all, my employer already hired me. Secondly, my employer is my own company. And thirdly, I do have a degree! Extremely wayward targeting...

Explore VIP Super ViagWra! =] A folkmoots overbites fetchingly.

Another word whose meaning I have learned thanks to spam: 'folkmoot', which is "a general assembly of the people in early England". Quite what that has to do with VIP super Viagra (I knew those VIP's had access to super Viagra!) or fetching overbites I'm not sure, but I have a hilarious image in mind of medieval townsfolk with endearing dental problems banging on the door of the lord's mansion to gain access to his, erm, staying power.

Declinedmoi Application rtc

I picture a former French baron in a bank, seeking a loan based on his standing in society rather than his financial worth. The "rtc" is the sound of him spitting in disgust.

Become A Legend cocklebur

Here's what a cocklebur is: "Any coarse weed of the genus Xanthium, having spiny burs." I say, go for it, cocklebur - become a legend. With a name like that you're halfway there already.

u wont feel happy if u r fat troubles confront tinsel

This one seems a little out of season, but "fat troubles confront tinsel" certainly encapsulates nicely the problem of Christmastime overeating.

If you have bad credit, we'll give you a computer!

I just bought a computer on credit. If only I'd known I was doing things backwards...