Saturday, June 05, 2004
Please don’t be fat anymore or forever
Okay, I'll try really hard, though I think if I can manage the 'anymore', the 'forever' kind of takes care of itself.
Okay, I'll try really hard, though I think if I can manage the 'anymore', the 'forever' kind of takes care of itself.
Friday, June 04, 2004
Re: homemade fescue
"What exactly is fescue?" I hear you ask. Well, you would have heard me asking the same thing when I received this spam. No-one was listening (probably a good thing) so I did what anyone would do: I ignored the dictionary on the shelf two feet away from me and googled it. It turns out that fescue is a "grass with wide flat leaves cultivated in Europe and America for permanent pasture and hay and for lawns." So it turns out that making homemade fescue is as easy as watching grass grow. Can't imagine what this spam was selling then. Oh, maybe I can.
"What exactly is fescue?" I hear you ask. Well, you would have heard me asking the same thing when I received this spam. No-one was listening (probably a good thing) so I did what anyone would do: I ignored the dictionary on the shelf two feet away from me and googled it. It turns out that fescue is a "grass with wide flat leaves cultivated in Europe and America for permanent pasture and hay and for lawns." So it turns out that making homemade fescue is as easy as watching grass grow. Can't imagine what this spam was selling then. Oh, maybe I can.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
FWD: Stop emails like this one.. fibrosis
Oh, thank God! Finally there might be a cure on the horizon for one of the most harrowing diseases of our time: email fibrosis. Please give generously. Every penny counts.
Oh, thank God! Finally there might be a cure on the horizon for one of the most harrowing diseases of our time: email fibrosis. Please give generously. Every penny counts.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
fill your boyfriend with semen! Broccoli
Well, I'm stumped by this one. I've heard that green, leafy vegetables are good for you, but I had no idea what an amazingly positive effect they can have one's sperm count. This is bad news for fertility clinics and great news for broccoli farmers.
Then, in the same batch of spam, I received prepare to make some room in your pants, which is very well targeted at men whose girlfriends just went out to the grocer's for a bag full of florets.
Well, I'm stumped by this one. I've heard that green, leafy vegetables are good for you, but I had no idea what an amazingly positive effect they can have one's sperm count. This is bad news for fertility clinics and great news for broccoli farmers.
Then, in the same batch of spam, I received prepare to make some room in your pants, which is very well targeted at men whose girlfriends just went out to the grocer's for a bag full of florets.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
ThereÂ’s no place like hofq
There are lots of places like home. Those places are other people's homes, and they're quite similar to yours. You know, living room, bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, TV, shower, plates, dishes, windows, etc. But there really is no place like hofq, I can guarantee you that.
There are lots of places like home. Those places are other people's homes, and they're quite similar to yours. You know, living room, bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, TV, shower, plates, dishes, windows, etc. But there really is no place like hofq, I can guarantee you that.
Monday, May 31, 2004
*Get 24/7 road-side assistance...rentals, repairs...chbooinhuau
If the 24.7 roadside assistance guy opens up the hood and goes, "Chbooinhuau..." chances are he's either, a) seen that the motor has surrendered in the battle against rising gas prices, b) realized he's locked himself out of the tow truck and needs to call roadside assistance too, or c) noticed that your old VW Beetle appears to be powered by a tote bag, an umbrella and a spare pair of sneakers.
If the 24.7 roadside assistance guy opens up the hood and goes, "Chbooinhuau..." chances are he's either, a) seen that the motor has surrendered in the battle against rising gas prices, b) realized he's locked himself out of the tow truck and needs to call roadside assistance too, or c) noticed that your old VW Beetle appears to be powered by a tote bag, an umbrella and a spare pair of sneakers.
Sunday, May 30, 2004
people are so crazy anymore
Are they or aren't they? A person could go crazy, trying to figure out what this spam is saying.
Are they or aren't they? A person could go crazy, trying to figure out what this spam is saying.
