Saturday, July 03, 2004
Simple Yet plagioclase estuarine nosebag
Funny, but that doesn't sound all that simple. And anyway, labradorite is my favorite mineral in the feldspar group; I wouldn't accept any plagioclase even if it came in a velveteen tote bag, never mind an estuarine nosebag.
Funny, but that doesn't sound all that simple. And anyway, labradorite is my favorite mineral in the feldspar group; I wouldn't accept any plagioclase even if it came in a velveteen tote bag, never mind an estuarine nosebag.
Friday, July 02, 2004
a new way of assassinate auk gagwriter
I never realized that auks told jokes, but for those of you accustomed to hearing funnies from New Zealand sea-birds, then I'm sure you'll be scandalized to discover that they have gag writers. Luckily though, thanks to spam, we have a new method of ridding the world of this scourge. The old way, using a silver-tipped harpoon, was costly and erratic.
I never realized that auks told jokes, but for those of you accustomed to hearing funnies from New Zealand sea-birds, then I'm sure you'll be scandalized to discover that they have gag writers. Luckily though, thanks to spam, we have a new method of ridding the world of this scourge. The old way, using a silver-tipped harpoon, was costly and erratic.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Re: chateaux nerve
Oh, yes - Chateaux Nerve. That's the kind of wine you order in a restaurant when you're about to:
a) Propose marriage
b) Sit down next to Catherine Zeta-Jones
c) Come out of the closet to your boss and tell him that you hope he's gay too because you've had a crush on him for years
Oh, yes - Chateaux Nerve. That's the kind of wine you order in a restaurant when you're about to:
a) Propose marriage
b) Sit down next to Catherine Zeta-Jones
c) Come out of the closet to your boss and tell him that you hope he's gay too because you've had a crush on him for years
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
southpaw woody doggone dachshund
That would be a great cartoon series for kids, with a potential movie spinoff and the accompanying merchandising goldmine. I imagine Woody as a dog who none of the other dogs want anything to do with because he's the only southpaw dog in town, so he befriends a bunch of other animal misfits such as Kevin, the cat that barks, Thintail Sally, the anorexic squirrel and Roddy Raccoon, whose stripes go the wrong way. Together, this crew of cuddly critters resolve disputes and confront injustice in the animal kingdom. Hey, if there's a fortune to be made from SpongeBob Squarepants, then Woody's got a chance.
That would be a great cartoon series for kids, with a potential movie spinoff and the accompanying merchandising goldmine. I imagine Woody as a dog who none of the other dogs want anything to do with because he's the only southpaw dog in town, so he befriends a bunch of other animal misfits such as Kevin, the cat that barks, Thintail Sally, the anorexic squirrel and Roddy Raccoon, whose stripes go the wrong way. Together, this crew of cuddly critters resolve disputes and confront injustice in the animal kingdom. Hey, if there's a fortune to be made from SpongeBob Squarepants, then Woody's got a chance.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
laden mort
Good grief! Is that Laden, as in the-main-hubcap-in-the-Axis-of-Evil Osama? And is that 'mort' as in the French for 'dead'? And has the 'bin' part of his name somehow survived like the Terminator's arm in T1 so that the US government can come up with a sequel? And did he evilly cackle himself to death in his mountain lair while stroking a white, fluffy cat? And should I stop now?
Good grief! Is that Laden, as in the-main-hubcap-in-the-Axis-of-Evil Osama? And is that 'mort' as in the French for 'dead'? And has the 'bin' part of his name somehow survived like the Terminator's arm in T1 so that the US government can come up with a sequel? And did he evilly cackle himself to death in his mountain lair while stroking a white, fluffy cat? And should I stop now?
Monday, June 28, 2004
girl scout 908 stalactites
Makes a change from cookies, I suppose. But who, these days, has room for anything but half a dozen breadstick-sized stalactites in their house? Still, I'm very curious to see what else they're going to come up with. Girl scout coprolites, maybe, which would look a bit like cookies yet still maintain the stalactite-prehistory link.
Makes a change from cookies, I suppose. But who, these days, has room for anything but half a dozen breadstick-sized stalactites in their house? Still, I'm very curious to see what else they're going to come up with. Girl scout coprolites, maybe, which would look a bit like cookies yet still maintain the stalactite-prehistory link.
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Get Yoounger Agaaaain
I think that this one was written while falling off a cliff into a bottomless chasm.
I think that this one was written while falling off a cliff into a bottomless chasm.
